The main purpose of discipline is to encourage good behavior, not to punish the child. Discipline must suit the child’s needs and circumstances. You should take into account the child’s age, developmental level, specific misbehavior, response to past discipline, and history, including past physical or emotional abuse. Examples of appropriate discipline include: 

• Establishing routines. 
• Setting reasonable limits. 
• Modeling appropriate behavior. 
• Offering choices. 
• Giving explanations. 
• Repeating instructions. 
• Using “time outs.” 
• Allowing logical or natural consequences. 
• Reinforcing desired behavior. 

Physical discipline is not appropriate for a child in kinship care. Because of the child’s history of abuse or neglect, physical discipline will interfere with the child’s ability to build trust, self-esteem, and self-control.

DFPS does not allow physical discipline, including open-handed spanking. Here are some other rules: 

• Don’t deprive the child of basic necessities (such as food). 
• Don’t use cruel, harsh, unusual, humiliating, demeaning, or unnecessary punishment. 
• Don’t threaten the child. This includes telling the child that he or she cannot see family or will be sent somewhere else to live. 

The kinship development worker, child’s caseworker, and therapist can help you deal with problem behavior. 

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